Just as disturbing, many of the attacks apparently come from within the military community, from active-duty members, retirees, veterans - and even military spouses themselves, engaging in internecine warfare. Others also found themselves targeted in comment sections on public websites. One wife, pregnant with twins, had her picture posted and vilified. Spouses have found their pictures posted or tweeted with derogatory comments simply because they are spouses.
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They also keep watch at commissaries, exchanges and other communal settings on installations, ready to snap a picture for posting and ridicule, she said. The almost universally female stereotype is imbued with a sense of entitlement, a consistent theme that most spouses "wear their husband's rank."Īir Force spouse Angie Drake calls individuals who post such material "dependapotamus hunters," and says they troll the Internet for comments and pictures for, about and by military spouses, always ready to respond with an insult or vulgarity. Websites and Facebook pages abound that delight in riffing on the "dependapotamus," "dependa" and other derogatory terms for a stereotypical military spouse, usually portrayed as lazy, often overweight, spending her military husband's hard-earned money on expensive handbags and frivolities to the point that the children go hungry. The phenomenon now fairly qualifies as a subculture. She was shocked at what - and who - came at her for that innocuous act.
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Why were bullies targeting her? Apparently, she had posted online promotions for her new book, and had simply associated the words "military spouse" with them. There were other comments like this one: "You don't do a damn thing. "Nothing like seeing your mom called a c- and a bitch while you're sitting at your kitchen table." "It took my breath away," said the spouse, who also asked to remain anonymous.